I am not very religious. Currently I don’t believe in god. Well, I do believe in good or bad. (Although I will still say that nothing is actually good or bad, after all, they are also somebody’s opinions. But as a normal human being, I too, have some opinions about good or bad.)
To tell the truth, I have not done much research in that direction to comment about the existence of god. But somehow, not accepting god seems to be more logical than accepting god. Because when you accept god, you totally believe in it (not him / her, I see god as a concept here). Belief leads to faith. And when you encounter faith, you don’t ask questions, you simply don’t! And I do not agree with that. (I love it when Tom Hanks’ character says wonderfully in Angels & Demons: I am an academic. Faith is a gift that I have yet to receive.)
I prefer not accepting god, because it keeps room for discussion. There remains enough space for confusion. I love confusion… (Only through confusion one reaches enlightenment. God bless Fakih sir! :D Anyway, coming back to the topic…) Because of confusion, you ask questions.
For me, well, there’s even a space in my mind which says: hey, there actually might be a god, who knows! This space – of taking into consideration the opposite possibility - is unfortunately not present with most of the religious people I know. They do not see the probability, may be even the tiniest one, of non-existence of god. You can no more argue with them in that case.
No arguments? That means no discussion. No confusion. No more interesting conversations about dissecting every possible tiny detail. No more fun. Game, set, match!
I thank my family to give me such a musical childhood. My family never seemed to run out of good music to be played in the mornings. Sometimes it was Kishori Amonkar. Sometimes it was Prabha Atre, Bhimsen Joshi. Then there were times, when Kishor Kumar accompanied me while I was getting prepared for school. And sometimes there was simply my aai or Amod dada, singing beautifully. Discussions would arise about which raag that was. Baba, as enthusiastic as ever, would be doing things around the house while thinking constantly about something new to play on the recorder!
But I have some special memories about James Last melodies. I have somehow connected those to the beautiful monsoon afternoons / evenings. I would return home from school, half wet, desperate to play Lego or G. I. Joes. Within no time I would wash my hands n feet in cold water of the monsoon season, get changed and directly pour all the Lego blocks on the floor! (Sometimes I was lucky enough to have a day off on a heavy-rain day. Then it was a different story altogether, but that’s some other time!)
I remember me playing in that room, which was next to RuparelCollege. RuparelCollege campus used to look most beautiful in those rainy days. The sound of the raindrops, clashing against the windows, going up and down all the time, of course was one music I always loved. But sometimes it was accompanied by James Last, especially “Theme from a summer place” and “The in crowd”. (I loved those songs, although I came to know about their names and their composer not before I was in degree college!)I remember Amod dada painting all the while in the room. Paints, brushes scattered all over room. Sometimes I would just love watching him paint like that. (Although he would hate when I used to start humming the songs along!)
Sometimes I remember myself sitting on the floor, trying to make some castle out of the Lego blocks. Amod dada would be just walking around the house or just standing in the window, staring at monsoon-Ruparel with a mug of hot coffee in his hand. (Of course, music is on in the background!) These times he would not switch on the tube light. He loved those gloomy half-dark afternoons. I loved them too. The whole atmosphere of half-darkness accompanied by melodious music gave me some mysterious feeling. And still whenever I listen to those songs, all these feelings – like a wild short-distance runner – start running through my entire body!
Anyway, those were the general things happening around that time. Soon it would stop raining and I would go out to play with my friends(?) in the building. After some time, that afternoon would turn into a 7 o clock situation, where it would be neither evening nor night. (Time used to pass so slowly n nicely those days!) The atmosphere used to be very pleasant. Within no time all of us used to get calls from home for dinner. And then there was the last but definitely not the least attraction – sleeping (hopefully under a thick blanket) while the rain would start blasting again during night and waking up the next day on a chilly morning (by Mumbai standards) to some good old Kishori Amonkar melodies!
